A Unique Commencement

Man, I hope that when I graduate, we have a commencement speaker that is as good as P.J O'Rourke. Writing in the LA Times today, he offered his own version of a commencement address. Instead of encouraging young graduates to go out and 'follow their dreams' and try to 'change the world' he offers more practical advice; telling them to go out and get rich, forget about 'fairness,' and learn the true meaning of the 10th Commandment.

Indeed. To quote his introduction:

"Don't moan. I'm not going to "pass the wisdom of one generation down to the next." I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom.

We were the moron generation. We were the generation that believed we could stop the Vietnam War by growing our hair long and dressing like circus clowns. We believed drugs would change everything -- which they did, for John Belushi. We believed in free love. Yes, the love was free, but we paid a high price for the sex.

My generation spoiled everything for you. It has always been the special prerogative of young people to look and act weird and shock grown-ups. But my generation exhausted the Earth's resources of the weird. Weird clothes -- we wore them. Weird beards -- we grew them. Weird words and phrases -- we said them. So, when it came your turn to be original and look and act weird, all you had left was to tattoo your faces and pierce your tongues. Ouch. That must have hurt. I apologize."

Heh. Make sure to read the whole thing here, it's both dead-on and hilarious.